{"id":23413,"date":"2020-09-07T12:32:58","date_gmt":"2020-09-07T12:32:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elregionalvm.com.ar\/noticias-villa-maria\/?p=23413"},"modified":"2020-09-07T12:34:02","modified_gmt":"2020-09-07T12:34:02","slug":"mandhumorado-ajenos-y-propios-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elregionalvm.com.ar\/noticias-villa-maria\/mandhumorado-ajenos-y-propios-4\/","title":{"rendered":"Mandhumorado\u2026 (Ajenos y propios)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Por Mand<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>En la Edad de Piedra ya eran jodidos los padres&#8230;<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>El cavernicolita hijo llega a la cueva, le da las calificaciones a su padre que las lee detenidamente y al rato dice:<br>&#8211; Mir\u00e1, que te hayan bochado en caza, lo comprendo, porque sos chico y todav\u00eda no pod\u00e9s con la lanza; Que repruebes agricultura te lo paso, porque es aburrida y al principio cuesta trabajo agarrarle la mano; Que te saqu\u00e9s un tres en\u00a0 pintura rupestre te lo perdono porque todav\u00eda eres peque\u00f1o y no coordinas, pero&#8230; que repruebes historia, no jodas!&#8230; si apenas llevamos dos p\u00e1ginas!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>(Gracias Jos\u00e9 Luis!)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-very-dark-gray-background-color has-very-dark-gray-color is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Son recursos&#8230;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Un hombre entra, acompa\u00f1ado de una dama infartante, en una tienda s\u00faper exclusiva, y dirigi\u00e9ndose al vendedor le dice:<br>&#8211; Por favor, mu\u00e9strele a la se\u00f1orita el m\u00e1s fino abrigo de vis\u00f3n de la tienda.<br>El vendedor regresa con un abrigo impresionante. Ella se lo prueba. Le quedaba pintado. Acerc\u00e1ndose discretamente el vendedor le susurra al o\u00eddo del caballero:<br>&#8211; \u00abVale 65.000 d\u00f3lares\u00bb<br>&#8211; \u00a1No importa el precio, ya mismo le hago el cheque!<br>El vendedor (content\u00edsimo ya que ten\u00eda un porcentaje por lo facturado) indica:<br>&#8211; Muy bien, hoy es viernes, el lunes cuando cobre el cheque en el banco pase usted a retirar la prenda.<br>Ambos se retiran de la tienda. Ella deslumbrada, \u00e9l esperanzado.<br>El lunes regresa solo el gal\u00e1n. Sonriente, exultante&#8230; No estaba de igual manera el vendedor quien antes de saludarlo ya le expone a viva voz:<br>&#8211; \u00abC\u00f3mo se atreve a venir si sabe que tiene la cuenta cerrada desde hace 6 meses. Usted es un caradura\u00bb.<br>Sin perder la calma le respondi\u00f3:<br>&#8211; \u00abMire, pasaba por ac\u00e1 y me pareci\u00f3 un desprop\u00f3sito no acercarme a agradecerle el hermoso fin de semana que gracias a usted pas\u00e9 con ese min\u00f3n\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>(Gracias Richard!)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-very-dark-gray-background-color has-very-dark-gray-color is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Y pasa en muchos lados<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; Bravo, querida, veo que estas tomando conciencia del gasto telef\u00f3nico, s\u00f3lo has estado media hora hablando por tel\u00e9fono, \u00bfqui\u00e9n era?<br>&#8211; No s\u00e9, se hab\u00edan equivocado de n\u00famero.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>(Gracias Richy!)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-very-dark-gray-background-color has-very-dark-gray-color is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Vali\u00f3 la pena esperar tanto tiempo<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dos estatuas, de un joven y una joven desnudos, que hace m\u00e1s de doscientos a\u00f1os est\u00e1n uno frente a otro mir\u00e1ndose. En un determinado momento se le aparece Dios.<br>&#8211; \u00a1Qu\u00e9 tal chicos&#8230; la verdad que estar parados durante doscientos a\u00f1os, sin moverse, sin pesta\u00f1ar, merece una recompensa! Pidan un deseo que se los concedo.<br>&#8211; Las estatuas responden al un\u00edsono:<br>&#8211; Eiii, gracias, nuestro deseo desde hace muchos a\u00f1os es ser humanos.<br>&#8211; Est\u00e1 bien, no es un deseo f\u00e1cil de cumplir, pero igualmente los convertir\u00e9 durante diez minutos en personas. Por lo tanto aprovechen en darse el gusto que quieran.<br>Ya convertidos se bajan de los pedestales y se\u00a0 van detr\u00e1s de unos matorrales. Al minuto comenzaron extra\u00f1os ruidos:<br>&#8211; Ahh, as\u00ed, as\u00ed, uyyyy, segu\u00ed, segu\u00ed, no par\u00e9s!!!&#8230; C\u00f3mo me gusta, disfruto a lo loco!!!<br>A los cinco minutos se acerca Dios y les dice:<br>&#8211; Vamos chicos, vamos, ap\u00farense que s\u00f3lo le quedan cinco minutos.<br>Y detr\u00e1s de los matorrales se escucha a la estatua femenina decir:<br>&#8211; \u00bfO\u00edste? Vamos ap\u00farate, ahora me toca a m\u00ed, vos agarr\u00e1 la paloma que yo la cago encima.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>(Gracias Ra\u00fal!)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Por Mand En la Edad de Piedra ya eran jodidos los padres&#8230; El cavernicolita hijo llega a la cueva, le da las calificaciones a su padre que las lee detenidamente y al rato dice:&#8211; Mir\u00e1, que te hayan bochado en caza, lo comprendo, porque sos chico y todav\u00eda no pod\u00e9s con la lanza; Que repruebes [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":23415,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"_joinchat":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[2614],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23413","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.8 - 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